Saying “Yes”to THE dress (Part I)

Good Evening and Happy Saturday! As I get closer to our pending nuptials, I took the opportunity to schedule and attend my first set of bridal dress shopping trips with my mother, my (soon to be) mother-in-law, my sister and my grandma in tow. I have been researching bridal shops and types of dresses that I like for about a year now and had an “idea” of what I could see myself both paying and looking like. I took advantage of scheduling during some “summer sales” in hopes of finding a dress that did not cost me over $800-1000. I did this primarily because most of my wedded girlfriends explained that although their dresses were beautiful, they remained unworn/untouched since the day that used it and I would rather allocate my budget towards other areas of the wedding. I consider myself a relatively frugal person and wanted to set a budget and with the help of advertised sales (starting at $199), I figured that there was a slight chance that I may get lucky. I was completely mistaken and this is another example of how easily people get duped. While I won’t disclose the bridal shops that we attended, I will say that they are both well-known and well-advertised (which led to my reasoning for scheduling with them). The first stop was a wonderful experience. From the outside, you definitely would not think about going inside and giving it a try. The dresses had a good selection, the staff was very friendly and I felt that the woman helping me, Bonni was amazing. The dress of course, which became my #1 despite disclosing the budget was WAY out my league despite both my mother and grandmother offering to split it. I tried a few others which were worthy contenders but my heart split between about three choices. Clearly, I was not 100% ready to commit. Although I loved the dress I originally had my heart set on, I had to move onto the next scheduled appointment. Plus, I wanted to make sure that the first dress I saw didn’t just become an expensive mistake. The second experience was not comparable to the first. This bridal shop gets SO much attention for its selection and it’s amazing marketing. I chose this shop because they offered a great “summer sale” and I was curious (maybe subconsciously to be part of the “in crowd” to say that I went there). I was greeted and asked what I was looking for in terms of a dress. I explained what I wanted and did not want although I made it clear that I was open to trying other styles. I also brought to their attention the need to stay within a certain budget. I was brought to a giant room that had been sectioned off into the four corners for bridal fittings. I was essentially sharing a room with three other brides and their guests. This may make me sound rude, but I did not feel that it was a personalized visit and it made me feel self-conscious to be standing less than 20 feet from another person trying to enjoy their moment as much as I was. Needless to say, the dresses were only minimally within budget and it seemed that they only really carried the styles that were “in” right now which I was not crazy about (cut outs on the sides, deep v-cuts with nude mesh, mermaids and heavily adorned). They did not carry many dresses in pure white “because no one really looks flattering in them.” When I asked about slight alterations/color changes everything cost big $$$. You want something shortened, lengthened, taken off, added…everything cost something. I was afraid to even ask at that point. The price of a dress with alterations is shocking to me. I can see how people can easily go into debt. When asked, I was told that nowadays women are buying more than one dress and spending thousands. The saleslady told me that she recently, she had a woman come in and order two sizes too small because “she was a dancer and told me that she knew how to lose weight.” To me- this mentality is crazy. Dress shopping should not make people like this. I will not let dress shopping do this to me. I just couldn’t see myself in that category. Plus, majority of the pulled dresses didn’t even end up being part of the sale despite the advertisements. I know that they need to make me happy by letting me try things but they also kept showing me non-sale dresses as well. If you ask about a budget, help me stick to it. It’s frustrating to be shown dresses to fall in love with that are so expensive that it doesn’t even make sense to try to finance it. So my friends, how do you shop for your dream dress with a budget? As of right now, I consider this to be a hard task. I know that it can be done and I know friends that have found $10K dresses and $200 dresses. I can be patient until that “YES” moment and who knows I may just bite the bullet and say that the first dress was meant for me. Did it spark joy when I tried it on? Yes. But I also want to be reasonable and to try other shops and dresses in case. Like I previously stated, I can’t necessarily just go with the first dress that I like. As I scroll through my photos (none of which I can share with my fiance), it’s hard to tell. Ya know, you like this part of this dress…this part from that dress..I want to try to stay true to my original thought and budget if I can. One thing is for sure, I will not order online because the look and feel of the dress is completely different than in a shop. So onto the next set of appointments..